Class Reunion: those two words conjure up a great variety of feelings, running the gamut from the painful to the glorious. My bet is that when a person hears those two words they are more likely to say “Oh, no, do I have to go?” rather than “That’s great, I can’t wait!”
I just celebrated my 50th Class Reunion from high school this past summer and it was a deeply meaningful experience for all of us, I dare venture to say. But that is mainly because we did it a different kind of way.
It started out innocently enough, a year ahead of time, when classmate Judy and I were having coffee in St. Paul, Minnesota. Our high school class of 1968 consisted of 37 students in a town of 700 in the middle of North Dakota, Maddock. Our school has an All School Reunion every 5 years, so our class tries to have some kind gathering at that time. I had not been involved in planning previous reunions, and, having lived so many different places around the country, had attended very few of them. Judy, on the other hand, had been involved before, and she commented that she had worked at getting folks to attend, and some classmates never would. I asked her to name some of those classmates, and my first response was: “We treated them badly in high school. Why would they want to come back for a reunion?”
A goal of spirituality is to grow in wisdom, insight, understanding, love and compassion. As we do that we become increasingly aware of our failures in those areas in the past. That is a painful experience and thus, looking back, I felt ashamed of the way I had treated many classmates, mainly by ignoring them as I got caught up in my own activities and circle of friends.
Judy and I decided to volunteer to head up our reunion, which was gladly accepted by the local classmates who usually did most of the work. Enlisting two other classmates, we decided to try to personally contact each classmate by Christmas and tell them how much we wanted, and needed them, to participate. This was preceded by a letter under the theme: “More than a Class: A Community”:
You were a part of that community. A very important part. And, like any community, something is missing if any one person is missing. We do not want to miss you.
Like all communities, sometimes we treated each other terribly, and at other times we provided the love and support we each needed. We all carry pain from the past and hopes for the future.
We want to create a new kind of Reunion, one that looks forward more than backwards. Yes, there will be a dinner and a celebration of still being here after all these years. But we also want to provide a Time of Sharing through which we can really get to know one another again and provide the love and support a healthy community always does.
In a quiet setting we will each have the chance to share the most meaningful thing that has happened in our lives the last 50 years, and the greatest challenge we have faced/are facing. Then we will each be able to share one or two hopes for the future so that we can commit ourselves to praying for each other and finding other ways to be supportive. We also want to remember classmates who have died.
Twenty-two classmates signed up to attend the Friday night class banquet, and we set the Time of Sharing for 2 ½ hours before the banquet. To our amazement, 18 classmates, and several partners, gathered ahead of time. As we went in a circle around the room, giving each person a chance to share, there were lots of laughs and plenty of tears. And also many things for which prayers and support were requested.
As one person said afterwards, if we had done this at the beginning of high school, the whole experience would have been different. But at least it was different now, and the tenor of the whole weekend was filled with warmth and care. Old friendships were rekindled and new friendships made. We now have an email group through which we can update each other and put forth prayer requests. We also decided to gather each year from now on back in Maddock for a similar kind of sharing.
"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." [Colossians 3:12b-14]
No comments:
Post a Comment