What is Spirituality? Part VIII : Hostility

We have reflected on our Own 

Heart, moving from Loneliness to Solitude, then on the Heart of God, moving from Illusion to Prayer, and now we focus on the Hearts of Others, which is the movement from Hostility to Hospitality, from Conflict to Compassion and Community. This “is the movement by which our hostilities can be converted into hospitality. It is there that our changing relationship to our self can be brought to fruition in an ever-changing relationship to our fellow human beings.” [Nouwen, Reaching Out, 46]

As we come to a deeper understanding of what God wants through Prayer, and make peace with ourselves through Confession and acceptance of what cannot be changed (Grace), we are then ready to enter into relationship with others in a way in which hostilities can be overcome as we increasingly learn to also accept others as they are, and treat them graciously in the way God treats us with grace and unconditional love.

Spiritually and theologically, there are two places to which we go to begin to overcome the hostility we may feel towards others. The first place is to God’s creation, and what it means that God created us not as gods, but as human beings. The very first stories in the Bible deal with this issue, from Adam and Eve deciding they didn’t want to be humans (they wanted to be gods) to Cain deciding that he didn’t like the world God had created: he would much prefer that Abel not be a part of it.

Marcus Borg explains this issue: “Our fall into exile is very deep. The biblical picture of the human condition is bleak. Separated and self-concerned, the self becomes blind, self-preoccupied, prideful; worry-filled, grasping, miserable; insensitive, angry, violent; somebody great, or only okay, or ‘not much.’” [The Heart of Christianity, 117]

Traditionally we have labeled this description the “human condition.” It is the painful situation in which we find ourselves, and our tendency, therefore, is to view others as competitors out to take away our possessions, our security, our status, our enjoyment of life.

This brings us to the second place spiritually and theologically: the cross of Christ. An old hymn put it this way: 

      The ground is level at the foot of the cross,

      Anyone may come there for there is no cost.

       Rich or poor man, bonded or free.

      The ground was leveled that day at Calvary.  [Beverly Lowry]

The idea that we might be better than others, or more worthy of God’s love, is shattered by the cross of Christ. It is the great leveler, the great equalizer. We are all in the same boat, as the old expression puts it.

1906-1945

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German pastor assassinated by the Nazis at the end of World War II, put it this way:  “Anybody who lives beneath the Cross and who has discerned in the Cross of Jesus the utter wickedness of all humans and of his own heart, will find there is no sin that can ever be alien to him.” [Life Together, 118]

This understanding is captured in the 16^th century statement of John Bradford: “There but for the grace of God go I.” It is the admittance to ourselves that we are capable of all kinds of cruelty and hostility, unless God’s love tempers us and shows us a better way. 

Again, we see how crucial “humility” and “confession” are in the spiritual life. Once we are honest with ourselves and thereby humbled by our own hostility and greed, the Cross leads us to begin to let that hostility go as we open ourselves to the world and to all other people. In the words of Thomas Merton: “The proud person loves their own illusion and self-sufficiency. The spiritually poor person loves their very insufficiency. The proud person claims honor for having what no one else has. The humble person begs for a share in what everybody else has received. They too desire to be filled to overflowing with the kindness and mercy of God. [Thoughts in Solitude, 44-45]

Thomas Merton, 1915-1968

This movement from Hostility to Hospitality thus becomes our new vocation in life. Merton again:

And this is the mystery of our vocation: not that we cease to be humans in order to become angels or gods, but that the love of my human heart can become God’s love for God and others, and my human tears can fall from my eyes as the tears of God because they well up from God’s Spirit in the heart of God’s incarnate Son.

When this is learned, then our love of other humans becomes pure and strong. We can go out to them without vanity and without complacency, loving them with something of the purity and gentleness and hiddenness of God’s love for us.” [Thoughts, 123-124]