What is Spirituality, Part III: Finding the Spiritual Disciplines that Work for You

 

Lighthouse on Long Island, 1/1/19

Spirituality begins with the desire to see our lives from the perspective of God, but it grows and deepens through work: i.e. the work of finding a method or process that “works” for us. I invite you, if you have not done so already, to explore what that process might be for you.

Richard Foster, in his seminal work, The Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, outlines 12 Spiritual Disciplines that religious people have used throughout the ages to grow spiritually. He divides them into 3 main categories: Inward: Meditation, Prayer, Fasting, Study; Outward: Simplicity, Solitude, Submission, Service; Corporate: Confession, Worship, Guidance, Celebration.

In his foreword to this book, the great American theologian, D. Elton Trueblood, writes: “The great problems of our time are not technological . . . . or political or economic, because the difficulties in those areas . . . . are largely derivative. The greatest problems are moral and spiritual and unless we make some progress in those realms, we may not even survive.”  [viii]

Foster then explains that these Disciplines are for everyone: “We must not be led to believe that the Disciplines are for spiritual giants, and hence beyond our reach, or for contemplatives who devote all their time to prayer and meditation. Far from it. God intends the Disciplines of the spiritual life to be for ordinary human beings: people who have jobs, who care for children, who must wash dishes and mow lawns. In fact, the Disciplines are best exercised in the midst of our normal daily activities.”

Growing up in the church, I participated in many of these disciplines, without really thinking of them as Disciplines. The main ones were Confession, Worship, Prayer, Study and Service. As for going deeper into faith, I assumed that things like meditation, fasting, simplicity and solitude, were for Catholic sisters and monks, and “giants of faith” like Mother Teresa and Desmond Tutu.

It took a time of desperation in my own life to finally drive me deeper into these Disciplines when I was 33 years old. As I describe in my book, When the Northern Lights Went Dark: My Journey through Loss and Grief to Healing and Hope, my revelatory experience occurred some 8 months after my first wife, Pauline, died. I had begun to heal and find some hope, but, as I wrote: “I had certainly made a great deal of progress. I had come a long way. Yet something extremely important was still lacking. I felt I was operating too much out of weakness rather than strength.

“One morning I awoke with a sense of a new insight, a dawning revelation. I finally began to realize that the weakness I was operating out of was the trying to control what I could not control. I was allowing everyone and everything around me to determine how I felt and thus needed to control outcomes of events in order to ensure my own happiness. This was my weakness. I had no inner strength. Like a sponge, I was at the mercy of having to absorb whatever flowed my way, whether wine or vinegar. I was lacking a deep spirituality. I was weak in body, weak in spirit, and, therefore, weak psychologically.” [244-245]

That morning I began my own form of Spiritual Discipline. I went for a run (solitude), came home and prayed, then read my Bible and portions of books by two  of last century’s greatest spiritual writers, Thomas Merton and Henri Nouwen (study), and then grabbed my guitar and sang (worship.) Eventually I added time for meditation and I began to learn about and try to practice simplicity and submission. (Later I will explain  what each of these disciplines means and entails, as it certainly wasn’t obvious to me in the beginning).

Thomas Merton and Henri Nouwen, Whose Writings Helped Me Find My Spiritual Path

This was my first attempt to practice Spiritual Disciplines in a new and deeper way, and it became a crucial turning point in both my healing and my own spiritual journey.

Growing up, if someone had asked me what a Spiritual Discipline might be, I probably would have pointed to my mother beginning her day by reading Scripture, then her morning devotional book, and then praying.  This was such a crucial piece of her devotional life, as it may be for many of you. The problem was, it didn’t work for me. I have had many fits and starts trying to keep that discipline, but it never lasted long.

It wasn’t until I started to work with my first Spiritual Director (Guidance) that I found out why that didn’t work for me and that there wasn’t anything wrong with me: I would just have to find my own spiritual path.

Once supported and guided, it did not take me long to find out what that would be. Rather than sitting and reading and praying, I would walk. Yes, walk. My mom’s process is fine for many introverts, but not for an extreme extrovert like me.

But it was not aimless walking. I first had to develop a route that would be the same every day, so I did not have to think about where I was going. Then, as I walked, I listened to my soul and heart. I tried to open myself up and notice where my mind and spirit would go. Often it would be something I was worried about, or a problem I didn’t know how to handle. As I walked, I thought about this worry: how it started and what were the primary issues involved. Then, after accepting that this worry was a real part of my life, I would try to turn it over to God, not only in terms of “giving” it to God, but also how I might respond to it     in a more spiritual way. Then, when I got home, I would find a quiet place to pray and read from the Bible or from spiritual writers.

That has pretty much been my discipline for the last 25 years (with plenty of lapses from time to time). Now, as a retired person, I have reversed the order. I begin my day with what theologian, Howard Thurman, terms “marinating” (another name for meditating). I get my coffee, ice my back, think about blessings and challenges of the previous day, make a plan for how I will spend the present day, and then pray for family and friends and issues of concern to me. Then, after a period of reading and writing, I go for my walk.

My prayer this morning includes the hope that you will take this unusual time as an opportunity to find your own way of bringing your own worries and fears before God, and then allow God to guide you in terms of how to think and feel and respond to the challenges of your own life.

 

Deming, New Mexico, 2016