Now that we have looked at our own Heart, we turn to God’s Heart. The movement from Illusion to Prayer is the move to look deeply into the heart of God and what God wants for us and the world. Traditionally, we have called this God’s Will, or the Way of God.
Scott Haasarud, my Spiritual Director, used to like to say: “You can’t know God’s will ahead of time.” This upset quite a few people, because we Christians like to think we know exactly what God’s wants us to do in any given situation. But, if you take time to stop and think about this, that view is rather presumptuous. Oh, there are times when we can be pretty sure we are doing God’s will--as in feeding the hungry--but so much of life is not that clear, and it can be extremely difficult to put our own needs and wants to the side so that we can be more open to what God wants.
When I was in the parish, I used to ask people if they had ever done what I call “serious” Bible study, and, if so, when they first did that kind of study. By that I meant not devotional Bible study, or even spiritual meditation on Scripture, but the kind of rigorous study where, through the use of critical research and thinking skills, one tried to ascertain what a text meant in its original context, and then what it might mean for us today.
Most people admitted they had never done such study or, if they had, not until they were in their twenties or older. I then asked them if--when they finally did serious Bible study--they had already formed political, ethical and theological positions. And, of course, they admitted they did. In other words, they came to the Bible for the first time already having formed opinions on abortion, capital punishment, homosexuality, capitalism and socialism, what God is like, how sinful humans are, what we need to be saved from or for. Then, I continued, if you really want to know what is in God’s heart through the study of the Bible, you will need to try to suspend all of those previous views if you want to be open to what the Bible actually says.
It is good to dream. The problem, however, as I stated above, is that we have usually created and begun to work towards our dreams long before we consider God’s dreams for us. Nouwen writes: “The idols of our dreams, however, are humbling reminders that we still have a long way to go before we are ready to meet our God, not the God created by our own hands or mind, but the God out of whose loving hands we are born.’” [85]
What, then, are some of our most common illusions?
The first are those things that we have traditionally labeled as “idolatry”, i.e. we worship them before we get around to worshiping God and what God wants. Examples are wealth, material things, success, addictions, comfort, power. Most of us church folk began making these kinds of lists when we were in Sunday School and Confirmation.
But there are many far more subtle illusions. One is the notion that we know what is best for ourselves, those we love, and the world. This is perhaps the most common form of prayer: asking, if not telling, God what needs to be done. I am not saying that we should not lift up our concerns and needs to God. But most of the time we go a step further, and assume that “we know best” what should be done, and this illusion leads to “disillusionment” when things do not go “our way.”
Another subtle illusion is the defining of faith not as trust in God, but as my power to make something true by believing it strongly enough. One might argue that this is a key part of our “original sin.” The story of Adam and Eve at the beginning of the Bible is in essence the story of humans deciding they did not want to do things God’s Way, but would rather make the rules themselves, including deciding what is good and evil. They wanted to usurp the power of God. They wanted to be in charge.
In my book I share the story of a group of people who believed in “faith healing” and wanted to “lay hands” on my wife, Pauline, as she was dying. As I wrote: “Although we regularly prayed for such healing, Pauline was not comfortable with the idea that such healing could only come through a certain person who supposedly had special gifts of healing.” While the intention of these people was mostly positive, the result was that it made Pauline feel worse. As she wrote in her journal, “Am I being narrow-minded not to want people whose theology I disagree with to come and pray over me? Now I feel guilty. Am I dogmatic, scared, or purely retaining my beliefs and feeling secure in Your arms without people touching me and telling me that?” [164]
I have also experienced other situations when people who believe in this kind of faith healing imply, if not outright state, that if someone dies or is not healed, it is because they did not have a strong enough faith, or enough people--or the “right” people--praying for them.
Another form of this attempt to usurp God’s power with the illusion that we humans have the power, can be seen in a suspicion, if not outright disregard, for medicine, science and reason. An example of this is the way certain religious people are responding to the coronavirus pandemic. Science and reason are gifts from God and give us a way to save and protect life. However, some Christians assert that if you just believe strongly enough the virus will not affect you or those you love, or the stranger whom you are called by God to love. Spirituality sees faith as trust in God’s presence and love while we use science and medicine to try to save life. The second view of faith implies that the Christian should be suspicious of science and medicine and labors under the illusion that if we just believe strongly enough the virus will have no power over us. This is bad enough when it costs one’s own life. It is worse when it risks the life of our neighbor, whom God calls us to love as we love ourselves.
As we recognize and confess these illusions we then can be open to the deepest dynamics of prayer, which we will discuss in the next post.
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